Wednesday, August 29, 2012

Jordyn Eve!

That title probably doesn't make much sense to you guys, but tomorrow Jordyn and my Dad are flying out! Can I describe how excited I am/express my happiness in words? No. Not even going to attempt. Everyone here is probably so annoyed of hearing it, (the doctors and everyone) but I've never been more excited about something in my life!

So today was short! EKG, blood test, radiation. (I made them take out my IV it's so uncomfortable I'm just going to endure a prick tomorrow- but the look on Diane's face was PRICELESS when I made her floss my teeth last night)

I was a little frustrated this morning because my dizziness and some pain came back, but it's impossible after meeting the amazing people here to feel sorry for myself. Even though I'm struggling with the hair situation.

 I've met some amazing people. Just this morning I met Lexi, she was diagnosed at age 3 with absolutely no hope (very severe diagnoses). Today she is 17 just like me, but in worse circumstances, yet still one of the happiest people I've ever met. Halo cast and more (I am choosing not to go into detail on this one). She told me people judge her when they look at her (you can tell), and she's the most confident person in the world. She's beautiful.

My nurse made me hummus! I'm telling you these people are amazing.

I love smoothies, so today I got a strawberry one! I was overjoyed.
Anyways, we went shopping again at the grocery store. Then went back to the Ronald McDonald house!
I prefer to think of this more as a vacation rather than home, but I like it here.

I had a seminary pizza party tonight! It was so fun. We had Korean Popsicle's!

Now I'm back at the Ronald McDonald house ready to take my pills which we are cutting the dose on at midnight. I'm nervous!

I know what I'm going through is difficult, but I've come to realize, EVERYONE has it hard. Like in the talk I posted yesterday, "No one is exempt" We are all going through trials every day. We are all in different circumstances, but we need to know God loves us and is EXTREMELY aware of what we're going through. After all, he's experienced everything we have. I'm still Rachel. I still want to hear about you guys! I care so much. 

Sometimes I wish you guys could walk a day in my shoes, just to see, the way I've been able to, how God has his hand in everything. Life is so wonderful. Never take a minute for granted. We are all struggling, but we can push each other through.



  1. I love the title of this post! Your dad is bringing a copy of the post-girls' camp DVD I put together from pictures I got from people at camp. We watched it yesterday during mutual. I think it turned out pretty well. :-)

  2. ur such an amazing person! im so happy to have stumbled upon ur blog from a friend. u are in my prayers. i love ur outlook on life. thank you for sharing so much. i hope u have a wonderful time with your sister and father. im sure it will be awesome to see them. keep us posted (:

    lots of love!
    PS you are such a beautiful girl, inside and out never forget that.

  3. Rachel you are an inspiration. After I read your blog I feel so happy and like I can make it through anything that life decides to throw my way! You are so amazing and your spirit is so strong. You, of all people, will be able to do this. I love you and your blog! You're in my prayers. Love ya girly.

  4. There is nothing like getting a hug from dad. I bet he can't wait for that hug too!

  5. more like rachel eve! i'm stoooooooooooked!
    but i should start packing now prob.
    loooove you tons! and tons!

    1. You two are awesome! Hope my girls will love eachother like you two!!

  6. Rachel,
    Awesome as always, your outlook on life and the current circumstances. I have no doubt that the people you meet are also talking about what an amazing young woman you are. What a beacon of light and source of strength you are! I know you can't wait for your dad and sister to arrive. Good times!

    Love and hugs and prayers!

  7. I love this post. You are definitely gifted to have such a clear outlook on life and to be so concerned for others. You are something special. Enjoy your family time today!

  8. I wish I could go through a day as you, too! You are so inspiring to us all, and we all know you can do this! We're praying for you, and I know God is hearing us and answering our prayers. Have fun with your sister and dad!

  9. Love the postitive attitude! It will take you far in life. :) Praying for you and look forward to each update and for your healing testimony!

  10. I am so gretful to know you, and for how you effect our lives! You are amazing! We All sending our love- The Allen and Wendy Arnoldsen family.

  11. i juat love the way you write and express your journey so far! you are truly truly amazing and can and will get through this xox Sonia again :))

  12. you are amazing and so inspiring!! I can't believe what a wonderful positive attitude you have about everything! and it's so true, even when we feel completely alone - it's best to remember that the Lord is always there for us whenever we need him and he's knows us best and knows what we are going through! I'm grateful I can turn to the Lord in tough times. Enjoy the time you get with Jordan how fun for you guys!

  13. I read your blog everyday when I come to work and I start tearing up/crying every time, so people here probably think I'm a nut, but I dont care! You are so strong and have the most amazing outlook on life. I'm proud of you girl. Thanks for the updates, you are always in my prayers!

  14. Rachel, you are so brave compared to me. I really don't know what else to say except keep being brave.

  15. Rachael, Your example creates strength in all of us who know you. Hopefully our prayers and strength will help you. Here is a writing I did and hope it will lift you.


    Silently, majestically, alone he stands before his accusers.
    Spat upon, smitten, scourged,
    with a plaited crown of thorns placed upon his head.
    Mockingly they ask,Art thou Jesus, King of the Jews?=

    Already others He had been sent to found no guilt in Him.
    Each had inquired about the charges against him.
    Each had him sent to those who were of higher authority.
    Each found him without fault of that which he was accused.

    To none would he confess of the lies from bribed witnesses.
    Why did he remain silent to their false accusations?
    Why would he not plead his case?

    They could inflict more pain, but could that be greater
    than the suffering he had already endured, alone?
    All the infirmities of mankind He had already born.
    So great was his anguish that he bleed from every pore.
    What greater pain could they inflict upon Him?
    Even those who now cried for his life he had suffered for.

    Could their power create greater fear in Him?
    How? Were not the hosts of heaven
    ready to sweep down and free him at his bidding?
    Yet, he stood before them silent, majestic, alone.

    They did not know that He whom they were seeking to destroy
    was the one who had come to set them free.

    He whom they cried, "Crucify him", would rise from the tomb
    and give to them life eternal.
    He who was foreordained in the great councils of Heaven as
    their Savior, Redeemer, Emancipator and King, would give
    up his life that they might live.

    Surely they would set him free. Surely they would let him live,
    admitting that they were wrong.
    Still, the cries rang out. "Crucify him, Crucify him".
    And he was, In silence, majesty, alone.

    Today, do we still cry out, "Crucify him, crucify him?"
    Do we falsely accuse him, when we are at fault?
    Do we let others persuade us to mock him,
    deny who he is, forsake him and leave him alone?

    Or are we faithful, mindful of his trial, his suffering
    and his crucifixion? Do we stand as witnesses that he lives,
    that he is the Son of God, that he will return to
    be our King, our Savior, our Redeemer?

    He who never lets us stand alone. He who will always be there,
    to guide, inspire, listen and comfort us.
    He Lives! He Loves us! He knows us by name!
    Do we believe in Him and believe Him?
    He who will never leave us, alone.

    Rod Hammer

  16. I talked to Lauren, Jordyn, and your Dad last night. I'm SO excited that they are coming to visit. I think it will help them to see where you are and visualize your life a little better. Your dad is doing such an amazing job here. He is so strong and is doing his part here to hold up the family. They are a perfect example of how a strong marriage and a strong family can bless our lives. I want to do better in my own family so I am more prepared for trials when they come (and we know they will come).

    I sent some supplies with Jordyn (if she had room to pack them). You'll have to find some 'how-to' videos on YouTube for using the tools and getting it all to work. I can send more supplies, so let me know what you need as far as connections for bracelets, earrings, etc. You can help the other kids make things, or you can make things for them, or you can donate them to the Ronald McDonald House for the common room -- whatever!

    I probably should have sent this in an email... it's getting to long for a comment. :) ENJOY the weekend!!! You're almost 2 weeks done!!!! I'm so proud of you! Love you!

  17. I found your story though a friend. You are such a sweet inspiration. I will be praying for you and for you to keep that courageous spirit and that amazing faith that can carry you through even the toughest of times.


  18. Hi Rachel,
    I heard about your blog through my cousin, Monica Gruwell, who is a friend of Lauren. I was diagnosed with leukemia at age 9, relapsed at 14 and 19. I too was treated at St. Jude. I adore that hospital and it has become a second home to me. I cherish all my wonderful nurses and doctors! The atmosphere at the hospital is so positive and cheerful. I am so glad that you are there receiving the best treatment! I just want to send everyone with cancer to st. jude cause I love it so much. I used to tell my parents that when I was flying somewhere, it was normally for a fun vacation. I remember flying to St. Jude my first time and being so scared and thinking this is not going to be fun vacation. Now, due to the atmosphere and people at St. Jude, I love going back for my check-ups. It is more of a social visit as I see all my old nurses/doctors in each clinic. I sympathize with you on the steroids. I was on those for a long time and the insomnia and puffy face made me crazy. Do something that helps you mentally escape each day. For me, it was going on walks and drives. During that time, I forgot about everything going on and just enjoyed my time alone. Look at your baldness like a badge of strength. You are fighting a good fight and are so strong already with what you’ve gone through. I know that heavenly Father is their leading us every step of the way. He has a plan for each of us and only gives us trials we can handle. I cherish my time going through treatment as I learned so many valuable life lessons and met so many amazing people. The best advice I have is to take things one day at a time. The whole picture can be daunting, but by focusing on the here and now, it will help you overcome each test. Keep the faith and tackle this cancer piece by piece. I return to St. Judes in October, so I would love to come visit you if you are up to it. Thanks for keeping us all updated.

  19. Sweet Rachel, you will be in our prayers. Our 4 year old son, Atticus, was diagnosed with DIPG January 13, 2012. We will pray for your miracle. For your strength and for your happy attitude to carry you through. Stay strong!!

    Love, the Hansen Family in Texas

  20. "You are a champion, my friend!! And you'll keep on fighting til the end!!" ya, Rach! I hope all is going well; I think about you often. Hope my dad's music is bringing you some comfort and can help you relax :) I'm so proud of how you are handling everything and the example and light you are to so many people. Keep maintaining faith and being strong and staying close to your Heavenly Father, and everything will fall into place. ♥
    So happy that you get to see more of your family!

  21. Rachel,
    You don't know me but you kind of might know who I am! My son is Hayden Magness, he was in either yours or jordyn's seminary class last year--or maybe both?! My nephew is Wyatt Payne. I worked with your mom when she was the stake primary president and I was primary pres in our ward. I was also pregnant with twins at the time so we bonded over the twin thing--I love your mom. I now have 5 yr old twins and I love the amazing bond that you and jordyn have. I hope my twins will have that same bond.
    Anyway, I just want you to know that we are praying for you. You are such a darling girl and such an inspiration with your courageous and positive attitude. I'm in the YW pres now in our ward and we, too, are praying for you. Keep up the fight, you'll beat this!!!
    Courtney Magness

    P.S. Totally unimportant, but I do remember every time I saw you and jordyn, you always had the cutest clothes! Such great style:)

  22. Dear Rachel,

    Even in The Netherlands we admire your positive attitude and pray for you.

    Love, Nora

  23. Your smile is radiant. It shines like the north star, and warms the heart like a bonfire.

  24. I found your blog through cute girls hairstyles. You are such an amazing, brave person! I love following your blog- it's so inspiring! :) keep on fighting!

  25. Hi Rachel- I saw a post on your aunties blog updating what was going on and sent you out a box to RMhouse. Coming from Texas :) just wanted to say hi and let you know lots of folks from all over are holding you in prayer- Mary

  26. Hi Rachel,
    My sister and I have been praying for you morning and night since we heard about your tumor. You are strong and we know that the Lord will help you overcome this trial.

  27. Love you Rachel! Always in our prayers and thoughts. You are so strong we know you can beat it!
    Love you so much,
    The Hafen's

  28. Rachel,
    You are so amazing! You have such endurance and a great attitude. You are changing the world. Thank you for sharing your testimony and your story with others. You probably know these words already, but this hymn is so uplifting in times of trial. "Where Can I turn for peace,Where is my solace, When other sources cease to make me whole. When with a wounded heart, anger, or malice, I draw myself apart, Searching my soul Where, when my aching grows,Where when I languish, Where, in my need to know, where can I run? Where is the quiet hand to calm my anguish? Who, who can understand
    He, only One.
    He answers privately,Reaches my reaching,In my Gethsemane, Savior and Friend
    Gentle the peace he finds for my beseeching. Constant he is and kind
    Love without end."
    God loves you! He will always be there for you. Keep being you!!! I know you don't know us, but you're in our prayers. :) Love, Tiah

  29. That is such a blessing to be able to have your sister go out and see you. It's great that you're making new friends. Thanks for sharing with us! :) love you Rachel!

  30. Rachel,
    You don’t know me but I got your blog from another blog. You are an amazing girl with an amazing attitude. I know that I often don’t understand why we have to go through hard trials. I may never know in this life why so many people have to go through some things. But I know that we receive many miracles and blessing while we are experiencing hard things. Know that many people are praying for you and your family and that Heavenly Father is very aware of you and your situation. Always praying for a cure!

    Wernli Family
    American Fork

  31. Dear Rachel you sweet girl, Your mom called and told me what you are going through. I am so sorry for all that you have to suffer but am so glad for the love and support you have with your mom at your side. You are so strong and I can tell you have a strong testimony but when you're not feeling so strong just lean on your mom's strength or on ours and we are happy to help in any way we can. Stay positive and know the Lord is always at your side. If you do lose your hair just know that JC shaved his head this summer and really liked it. He said it was liberating. Stay strong, we're sending all our love. The Oakmans

  32. Rachel,
    I found out about you from Cute Girls Hairstyles!:) It was soo sweet in the video. The last question:') I just want you to know that my family is praying for you. At church, I will tell everyone that we need to start praying for you! Hang in there, have a positive attitude and it will help! <3 My Nanny died from breast cancer when I was 10 or 11 (1 1/2 yrs ago). It was terrible because we hadn't seen her in a long time && didn't get to say goodbye:'( But shes in a better place now. With all these prayers, you are guaranteed to get better:)