Thursday, May 28, 2015

Pray Away

Feel free to pray for me, I am not doing well. I have felt terrible for about the last week, and things seem to keep persisting.
I can hardly type because I am so weak, so this can't be too much longer, I just wanted to quickly post some things I believe.

I believe in God and I believe he loves me even when I can't tell that he does.

I believe God is listening even when I can't tell that he is.

I believe I am being comforted even when I can't sense anyone or thing there.

I believe my life is full of tender mercies even when I don't see his hand in my life.

I believe in tomorrow, even when today was hard to live.

I can do hard things
-Rach

Sunday, May 24, 2015

Repeat

I feel like I am on a constant and never ending loop. I feel like nothing will ever be “over” even if we sometimes want it to be. My life is like a crappy TV show (because there’s a sudden obsession with the life of a cancer patient). Really high high’s and really low low’s- and during the whole thing it’s all uncomfortable and dramatic.

Sometimes I get upset with where I am because it is so visibly underwhelming- I guess I sometimes let that get to me. In the beginning I was like “I don’t need any kind of recognition to feel accomplished” when the real truth is, even if it’s an affirming sentiment relayed by Diane, I am better off when I am told I am doing good, or I am making my family proud, etc. I am not currently trying to seek something out, I am just typing something I’ve found out about myself.

I keep getting these mini migraines- so I am not really up to the task of writing but I wanted to at least record that I’m still alive! (Hooray.) But I started going to BYU! Me- a college student! (Before you clap- I’m enrolled in one class) and I’m still working. For the last few weeks- my family has heard very few things come out of my mouth besides my “need for a massage chair”. Retail therapy exists.

It’s been such a long “in between” stage. I’m pretty ready for something new- I think!


Rachel


{taken by: itty bitty beautiful maria corona}

Saturday, March 21, 2015

Training!

My sister Heather is the most competitive person you can probably ever encounter. It's sort of hysterical, and it makes you love her so much more than you already do. Along with her competing spirit comes motivation. She has motivated me to start {really} running again. 

So that's what I did today!
And I think I died.
Look at me go! I ran 2 laps, and walked to laps.

So I'm going to be able to run a 90 second 400 meter by July, I'm so motivated! We're also planning on running the 4th of July 5k, which would have been a partial Saturday run in early 2012. Now, it's a monumental achievement I'm hoping to attain.
Heather is going to be my coach! I don't think she knew what she was getting into until this morning, but that's her fault, right? I'm super motivated. We'll see how long it lasts. Hopefully at least until July, 4th right?

It's been really busy lately, and my health has kept up with my activities, and I still don't have any sort of symptoms from dumb brain cancer. I am deathly tired from the run this morning, but other than that am feeling amazing!

Rachel!