I know my blog posts go long, and I myself have a short attention span, so read what you will! I'll try to hit the important stuff- gosh, what isn't important!?
Everything went so wrong today, I'm really done complaining, it finally got to the point where I'd laugh about how everything was going SO HORRIBLY.
It's so easy to feel sorry for yourself (contradicting myself I know). But tonight, my friend Savanna taught me an important thing I need to learn from this. Yeah there's heartache and grief, and things are obviously not going to magically go away, and that's not what I wish for. But she taught me about my attitude. Rachel was back tonight. Nobody knows exactly what's going to happen to me physically with the exception of God, and that is okay. Tonight I was content.
(Take this however you may, but these words are not mine, I'm being helped write this one tonight-God.) Although each day here is harder than the last, God is blessing me and my wonderful mommy who I couldn't possibly praise more- SO MUCH.
(Long story to read- optional!) Let us begin with my hectic night, shall we!?
Last night I could not sleep. In fact, I still haven't! After laying in bed, with my thoughts rushing at a million miles an hour, I took off, with a feeling not to grab my phone. Around 4 AM, I was exercising, for who knows how long. Running up and down the hallways of this place as quietly as possible. As soon as I felt tired, which took a while, I went back to the room. There I discovered the keys I grabbed were the wrong set! So I tried to quietly knock and whisper under the door in high hopes my mom could hear me. Fail!
When I realized this was no hope I was in great fear. After wandering the dark halls, I saw a phone on the wall, which repetitively I tried to use. It didn't work. In fear, I remembered earlier a kid I saw laying on the couch in the kitchen. Unfortunately I knew there were 2 mothers that I had seen earlier outside on the patio smoking, so I went to the kitchen. These ladies were so nice to let me borrow their phone. They tried convincing me to call security first, in fear I might wake my mom from her slumber. But I knew my mom would come for me, she answered in 2 rings. I've never felt so happy to see my mom in my life. ("And she came!" Jordyn this is for you. It's all I could think of when I saw mom walking down to get me. I was rescued!)
Continuing to torture her, because I haven't slept since! She let me lay in bed all night with her and held me so close. There's been a lot of that today. Nobody hugs like Diane!
Okay back on track!
These steroids are making me an absolute basket case. But God has experienced them too, so when I need someone who knows the EXACT pain I've felt, it is a comfort to me to turn to him.
Side note: As some of you have mentioned, this blog is inspiring to you (Credit to God)- but for me it has been very therapeutic. I must admit, it takes a lot to get me started, but once I go, there's no stoppin' me! As you probably have all noticed! Oops!
I started school today it was a great release. We had a really full day. Emotionally. And then spiritually. All I can say from today is that we are loved and understood and comprehend so much more than we can comprehend.
Tiring down, here we go again! Thank you SO much for every uplifting, inspiring, encouraging, and religious thought you've shared with me. I keep up to date with them, but at times my little body doesn't allow me to respond to every one. UNFORTUNATELY. I wish I could express my appreciation and support for all of you guys. I know it's nothing but thank you. That's the best I can do right now. I love you so much.
We have, will, and continue to do hard things through Christ.
Hopefully I can catch some sleep right now! Fingers crossed.