Sunday, July 19, 2015

It took a lot of courage to post a picture a couple of days ago. I was really grateful for all the kind words I received. Life is so hard to live right now. I keep thinking "I better have lots of blessings waiting;)."
I joke about exercise being disgusting, but in all reality that's what I hope for. I just want to run again.

My mom talks about the sun a lot and how it's going to rise and how we take for granted God watching over us. How annoying to have to make the sun go around over and over.
People think running on the track makes them dizzy. But how true. We are  watcรถhed over and most of the time I know I take it for granted. I know i need to realize who gives me life.

I make "ugh I have to do everything for you" comment. I'm like a toddler though. My mom literally puts food in  my  mouth  for  me.








Somebody that had once been fighting a less severe battle her whole life asked me " oh. So you haven't been fighting for very long?" I was so upset because I feel like it's been a long time. Time seems to drag on forever. I am so glad that time doesn't exist in heaven it gets me through hard times down here.

My life is really hard but it helps when I look at showering and getting dressed as a service for other people. Ha ha. 


Rachel

28 comments:

  1. ๐Ÿ˜„ I love the photo of you outside surrounded by family. You look like you are full of spunk & I think that goes a long way in a battle like this. I watched my mum fight cancer for 5yrs, & as a family member it is so difficult to watch your loved ones struggle. To suddenly have to do everything for them......not that you mind one bit (it fact it makes you feel like you are doing something useful at a time when you feel so helpless), but you know it hurts them. Keep fighting! And let those that love you look after you. You are so brave, and can do hard things!

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  2. I love your guts!
    your humor makes me smile!

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  3. Thank you for allowing for others share your journey. You are an amazing, beautiful, brave young lady and I'm so glad you have not let your sense of humor slip away. Hold it dear. Your are making people better and stronger. You're inspiring more individuals than you'll ever know. Reading this has blessed me tonight. And I thank you. ❤️

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  4. Rachel i still pray For u..And u are in my thoughts..( Lilia from Germany)

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  5. You are so strong!!!!! Thank you for being such an amazing example! Lots of prayers coming your way!

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  6. We love you Rachel, I'm sorry it's so hard. You are in our thoughts and prayers xxx

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  7. Your journal is a treasure for those of us who have had a child battling brain cancer too young to express how they felt.
    Thank you
    Mimi ( mother to ^king Julian^

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  8. You have beautiful blessing awaiting you. Perfect health on a paradise earth! JW.org Look forward to the day when we say Life Without End At Last! Revelation 21:4

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  9. I have been following your story almost from the beginning. I have been saddened by how you are feeling now, but want to share how inspirational and encouraging your writing has been. As a Christian, I pray for you to rest in God's providence and love. God bless

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  10. Rachel,
    I'm the guy who sent some links about research to Cooper. He told me he forwarded them to you and your mom to share with your nutritionist. What did your nutritionist think? Also, I sent you a friend request on fb. Please feel free to accept it. I have links to more research that I want to send to you! Hopefully something helps! Thanks!

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  11. Stay strong as long as you want, and take a break whenever you need it. You have nothing to prove to anyone, it's ok to feel terrible and sad, allow yourself to feel it, but then kick that out of your system and come back as strong as always!
    Blessings from Peru

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  12. Sending lots of positive thoughts and prayers your way Rachele! You are an inspiration to so many! ((Hugs))�� Becky Burkett

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  13. I will continue to keep you in my prayers Rachel. I also live in Utah, and my daughter Kera was 8 when she was diagnosed with DIPG and it has been a little over a year since she passed away. DIPG is an evil disease, and I'm sorry you have to face this. It takes so much courage to fight, and you are amazing!! Love this DIPG mom ๐Ÿ’œ

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  14. Rachel,

    Thank you for sharing your journey with us. Please know how many people you have touched, I have been following you for months and have never commented, I am sure there are lots of other people like me. You are so incredibly inspirational to me, I lost my sister from brain cancer when she was 41, she had a son that was 18, and I watched her lose everything over 15 months but she never lost her sense of humor, her free spirit, and always let us know deep down how much she loved us. One thing she did not do was share her internal struggle, reading your blogs give me insight into what she was feeling and thinking, thank you for doing that. Those 15 months seemed like years to us and her. Your journey is not how long it takes it is how you get through it. You just keep it up. Some of your blogs bring me to tears, you are a fighter. Your faith is inspiring. Truly thank you. Also you are stunning, keep posting photos, I am being completely seriously, you look so good, don't ever shy away from that. PS, I have identical twin 4 year old daughters, I cannot imagine what it is like for your sister to watch you go through this, I also cannot imagine how hard it must be for you to see all of the things you are missing out on. Know I truly believe you will be able to run and play again. All of this is just a blip in time. I hope you hold each other close and help each other through this cruel disease. Truly thank you from the bottom of my heart. Shannon

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  15. I think about you all of the time, sweet girl. I wish I could take away all of your suffering and grant you the strength to run like the wind. You are so special. Never ending prayers for you.

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  16. Rachel, I know that we may have not had the chance to know each other very well but know that you are and forever will be a strength to many. Thank you for your example. There is a passage in the Book of Mormon that I absolutely love where Nephi states "I do not know the meaning of all things, but I know that God loves his children." Rach, I would be lying to tell you that I understand, but I know that God loves you. He has a plan, and it is eternal. You can do hard things, for now and all eternity. Love you! Hermana Wise [currently serving a mission in Guatemala City...this is posted on her behalf by her dad. Strength to you, Rachel, from our whole family.]

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  17. Praying and thinking of you!!

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  18. I posted your update on Facebook Rachel and there is a whole ton of people praying for you and sending sweet messages and love. Hang in there sweetie, it's Friday right now but Sunday is coming xxx

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  19. Wish there was something more I could do for you. praying for peace, understanding and healing. Heavenly Father please be with Rachel and her family during this time. Give them strength, love and happiness. Help them to find peace and understanding. Please dear lord bring this sweet girl the joy that I know you can bring.

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  20. Your blog provided us with valuable information to work with. Thanks a lot for sharing. Keep blogging.

    TOSHIBA PVM-375AT

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  21. Dear Rachel, as a mother of an 18 year old son fighting DIPG I know excatly what you are going through. My son lost his ability to communicate a couple of months ago. This is when I came across your blog. I look forward to every entry with the hope that it helps me understand what goes on in his mind, & I'm so grateful to you for sharing your moods & thoughts. You are the voice of those fighting that beast called DIPG & not being able to express themselves. And I was even more happy to come across your blog because you are about the same age than my son, as usually DIPG hits younger kids.
    I wish to tell you that we beleive that God chooses the ones He loves most & puts them through a trial, if they show patience & keep their faith strong, He elevates them among the other humans & rewards them with Heavenly life. I keep repeating to my son that God loves him & He will reward him with peace & happiness that'll compensate for all the suffering he lives today. And that applies to you. Keep your faith strong. One day you will look back & say with a smile "I overcame this trial & won".
    Looking forward to your next post, hoping you'll be feeling better.

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  22. Just got one of your amazing cards in the mail. 'Nothing is permanent in this wicked world. Not even our troubles." - Charlie Chaplin. Love it.

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  23. Just got one of your amazing cards in the mail. 'Nothing is permanent in this wicked world. Not even our troubles." - Charlie Chaplin. Love it.

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  24. Just letting you know I'm thinking of you, continually prYing for you, always loving you, and will be back to you soon. I'm proud of you, you're such a triumphant warrior and light.

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  25. Rachel, Jeff Reeves. I visited your site for the first time tonight. What a treasure. Thank you for sharing. Thank you for your honesty, your whit, and your courage. Most of all, thank you for your light. A few months ago when we say you at Church (for Tanner Charles' missionary homecoming), I wrote Sam that night and told her the following: "Most impressive to me is the light and love the emanates from Rachel. I'm tearing up as I write this, as I feel again how I felt in her presence. I love to be with people with believing hearts."

    Thank you for making me feel love. Know that I am one of the many who count themselves lucky to know a person like you that is enduring your trial with such dignity.

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  26. I've been reading your blog frequently, but this is the first post I'm leaving for you! I'm simply amazed and astonished at what a courageous young lady you are! I am absolutely certain that your determination has inspired a great deal of people!
    You're in my thoughts! Hang in there, you know you can do hard things! Best wishes from across the ocean (Germany)!

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