Sunday, July 12, 2015

Hello!

I’m still keepin’ on. It stinks cause I am still am fully coherent but I have a hard time talking and basically everything I do is hard for me.  My mom made me walk back and forth along the banister  3 times and I got exhausted.  This trial has made me really wonder if God is real, I can’t say for everyone but I believe strongly in God.  My alternative doctor talks about hope and the world’s view of it.  I will always have heavenly hope.

Rachel
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90 comments:

  1. KJuly 12, 2015 at 9:15 PM

    “Hope” is the thing with feathers - (314)
    BY EMILY DICKINSON
    “Hope” is the thing with feathers -
    That perches in the soul -
    And sings the tune without the words -
    And never stops - at all -

    And sweetest - in the Gale - is heard -
    And sore must be the storm -
    That could abash the little Bird
    That kept so many warm -

    I’ve heard it in the chillest land -
    And on the strangest Sea -
    Yet - never - in Extremity,
    It asked a crumb - of me.

    Faith often takes up much of our thoughts when things are difficult, and it is easy to think of hope as something we wish for. Faith is a vital blessing that will carry us through this life even when we can't see beyond our own fears. And hope is a tender mercy that quietly whispers, "your faith is not in vain." Heavenly Father loves you, He knows you and He never makes mistakes. Much love to you, Rachel. Hold on to your testimony, keep letting your faith shine, and hope will comfort you.

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  2. AnonymousJuly 12, 2015 at 11:48 PM

    You have got this.

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  3. MasyaJuly 12, 2015 at 11:56 PM

    Oh so sorry you are going through this! Isn't there any treatment available currently? Keeping you in my thoughts and hoping you will rebounce like you did!

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  4. UnknownJuly 13, 2015 at 10:55 PM

    You are such a brave young woman. I learn a lot from your positive attitude and keep you in my thoughts every day.

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  5. Sara P.July 13, 2015 at 11:05 PM

    Rachel, I love your faith, your sense of hope, your courage, your intelligence and your fun sense of humor. Stay strong! Prayers coming your sea from Minnesota,
    Sara P. In St. Paul

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  6. MikeJuly 14, 2015 at 3:32 PM

    My prayers are with you!

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  7. KathyJuly 14, 2015 at 4:00 PM

    Rachel, hang on to your faith and hope. You are a strong and an inspiration to many! Keep blogging!

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  8. RileyJuly 14, 2015 at 4:04 PM

    Good thoughts and love coming your way. You are amazing and incredible and all things wonderful and brave. I can't imagine what you're going through but know that tons of people love you and are thinking of you!!! Keep on keeping on. You're doing so much for so many simply by keeping this blog.

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  9. CindyJuly 14, 2015 at 4:05 PM

    God is definiteyly real, and your faith is so inspiring. Keep being strong, and positive, you are in my prayers.

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  10. AnonymousJuly 14, 2015 at 4:07 PM

    Prayers to you.. sweet soul. Never stop believing. You are in the arms of God..hugging you closely. Keep your faith.. and we your fans from all over the nation will continue to hold you in hope.

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  11. BeckyJuly 14, 2015 at 4:09 PM

    You are amazing! Keep up the fight! You have accomplished more in your 20 years than I ever will! Keep you hope and faith. It will help all of our children. Thank you for sharing. We need you.

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  12. UnknownJuly 14, 2015 at 4:09 PM

    Praying for you sweet girl.

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  13. UnknownJuly 14, 2015 at 4:09 PM

    Praying for you sweet girl.

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  14. UnknownJuly 14, 2015 at 4:09 PM

    Praying for you sweet girl.

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  15. Katie D.July 14, 2015 at 4:09 PM

    Keep fighting girl!! From one childhood cancer survivor to another...God is there even if you don't believe it sometimes...that is the beauty of His Grace! God Bless....

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  16. farnazJuly 14, 2015 at 4:14 PM

    Hi Rachel, I learned about your blog from TheTruth365. I'm sorry you have been having an extra difficult time as of late. My 16 year old daughter had cancer when she was 13 1/2. Hold onto your faith and keep up the good fight! Wishing you a better day.

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  17. AnonymousJuly 14, 2015 at 4:15 PM

    Rejoice in hope, be patient in tribulation, be constant in prayer

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  18. AnonymousJuly 14, 2015 at 4:19 PM

    you're amazing and you can do this. so many people here are rooting for you and sending out positive vibes <3

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  19. MeghanJuly 14, 2015 at 4:23 PM

    Hi Rachel. I came across your blog and have spent some time reading through your posts. You amaze me. You keep going, keep fighting, keep believing even when all logic suggests you shouldn't. Maybe you're not feeling that great, maybe not pretty or maybe not worth it or maybe any of those other kind of thoughts that creep in and steal away your joy, but you are. You are so worth it. I pray your faith stays strong and you can feel the presence of God near to you. Stay strong!

    Greetings and prayers from Johannesburg, South Africa

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  20. AnonymousJuly 14, 2015 at 4:28 PM

    Hey Rachel! God loves you so so much, I will be praying for you. Stay strong!

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  21. AnonymousJuly 14, 2015 at 4:29 PM

    Praying for you.

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  22. AnonymousJuly 14, 2015 at 4:30 PM

    Rachel, you are truly an inspiration! I wrote my senior research paper on childhood cancer research and lack of funding after stumbling upon your blogs a few years ago. I have shown that paper to many and updated it in college, opening the eyes of many around me. I may be small and just one person giving feedback, but through your message from God and others, you have now touched lives and hearts of those you don't even know! I thank you so much for educating me and helping me grow. It's been so amazing watching you do so as well.

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  23. WilliamsJuly 14, 2015 at 4:31 PM

    Rachel, we are praying for you and your family. God bless you and keep you in his grace. Love from The Williams Family.

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  24. KellyJuly 14, 2015 at 4:33 PM

    Hi Rachel! You are beautiful! Stay strong, fight! Praying for you!

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  25. AnonymousJuly 14, 2015 at 4:38 PM

    Prayers coming your way from Spain. Keep strong!

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  26. Cody's MomJuly 14, 2015 at 4:38 PM

    Hi Rachel..keep fighting. It is tough. Praying for you!
    Mary
    From Long Island NY

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  27. DeborahJuly 14, 2015 at 4:38 PM

    Rachel,
    Just know there are a lot of people praying for you and lifting you up. You are so brave to share and post your journey as you battle "c." When you have to get up and walk that railing ....just keep thinking ans saying to yourself, "I can do all things through YOU Lord, who strengthens me." I too will be praying the same prayer for you. Deborah Pensacola, Florida

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  28. AnonymousJuly 14, 2015 at 4:40 PM

    Hi Rachael,...Stay strong and keep fighting. You are an amazing young lady.
    Mary
    From San Jose, CA

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  29. AnonymousJuly 14, 2015 at 4:40 PM

    Stay strong, Rachel! Sending love your way.
    - Scott in California

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  30. AnonymousJuly 14, 2015 at 4:45 PM

    Hi Rachel!

    You are such a strong and beautiful girl! God is always with you, even when it doesn't feel like it. He is in control and He is carrying you through this. Just know that you will never ever have to fight alone. We are all here for support and prayers. I'm about your age, so if you need a friend, feel free to reach out to me on Facebook and we can become pen pals :) I'd love to be here for you.

    All the best,
    Jennie Kriznik

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  31. UnknownJuly 14, 2015 at 4:46 PM

    Continue keepin’ on, Rachel! Our prayers are with you. :)

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  32. The O'Leary FamilyJuly 14, 2015 at 4:54 PM

    Sending love and prayers, beautiful Rachel! We care about what you are going through and our hearts are with you.

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  33. Iris.V.July 14, 2015 at 4:57 PM

    You can do this Rachel! I'm sure you can! I'm sending you a lot of love and courage (you don't need it because you are super duper awesome already, but anyway) from Belgium! 💗

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  34. christyJuly 14, 2015 at 4:58 PM

    I will be thinking of you and praying for you. You seem strong and inspirational. Some roads are rocky and it always seems like you are climbing a mountain.... just keep on til you get to the top and start on the downward slope. Much love.

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  35. RichJuly 14, 2015 at 4:59 PM

    Rachel,
    You have new friends in Chantilly, VA that think that you are so much more than worthless. I can tell you as a Dad, that I would never ever consider my daughter worthless. I'm sure it must be tough to be so reliant on others, but just know that your family loves you. Try to stay positive and know we're thinking of you in Virginia.

    Take care,
    Rich

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  36. KimJuly 14, 2015 at 4:59 PM

    Please, keep your faith. Believe in God, as He believes in you. Sending you lots of love and many prayers are being said for you.

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  37. KathrynJuly 14, 2015 at 5:04 PM

    What an incredibly courageous girl you are! Prayers and encouragement from Secaucus, NJ!

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  38. AnonymousJuly 14, 2015 at 5:05 PM

    You can win this battle!!! Stay strong!!��
    A friend from Spain

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  39. KellyJuly 14, 2015 at 5:05 PM

    Hi Rachel! I recently learned about your blog and I think you're amazing! I truly believe your traditional and alternative faith is a huge part of why you've weathered this storm for so long. I'm looking forward to reading more of your blog. Please know, so many are thinking and pulling for you! I hope you had a comfortable day today, and an even better day tomorrow :-). Xo...Kelly from MA

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  40. KathykJuly 14, 2015 at 5:07 PM

    I am pulling for you! tomorrow will be better. I look forward to reading your blog.
    kathy from montreal.

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  41. KevinJuly 14, 2015 at 5:11 PM

    This comment has been removed by the author.

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  42. DianeJuly 14, 2015 at 5:13 PM

    Rachel, hold onto hope and stay strong. Please know that I am praying for you here in Warrington, PA. Prayer to St. Jude: Help me when I feel hopeless and alone. Come to my aid in this great need, and ask God to assist me in my troubles and sufferings. Amen

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  43. KevinJuly 14, 2015 at 5:15 PM

    Hey Rachel, I'm so sorry you're in that kind of pain. Please know that you are a super strong person, and very special. You show more courage than anyone I know. Just keep pushing forward and stay true to yourself. Also, if you ever need anything from LA, let me know, I can ship anything you want! :)

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  44. AnonymousJuly 14, 2015 at 5:15 PM

    One day at a time, Rachel. Prayers and hope and love being sent to you.

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  45. patJuly 14, 2015 at 5:16 PM

    Keep the faith Rachel! We are all out here thinking of and praying for you! And you are most definitely not worthless-you and your journey are inspirational!

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  46. AnonymousJuly 14, 2015 at 5:23 PM

    You've got this, Rachel. Stay strong. You are amazing and an inspiration. Have faith.

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  47. JenniferJuly 14, 2015 at 5:29 PM

    Rachel-I can't even imagine or pretend to know what your going through. Closet I have ever experienced is Bell's palsy- I had to tape my eyelid shut everynight to sleep, and eating and drinking was awful because I was constantly spilling all over myself. In hindsight my family and I all laugh about it today.
    Try to keep your head up-you have been given a gift-to really know what it's like to live. Not everyone gets that and/or understands truely living. Today is precious, try to do one thing you enjoy-even if you have to ask for help! Be strong, be weak, heck be both but don't let this devil disease take away your self confidence and dreams for tomorrow. You are smart, beautiful, and a talented crafts woman!!!

    Sweet dreams tonight!

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  48. TrishJuly 14, 2015 at 5:29 PM

    Hi Rachel,
    What an inspiring and courageous girl you are. Stay strong beautiful girl. xx

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  49. AnonymousJuly 14, 2015 at 5:37 PM

    Hi Rachel,
    Sending love and understanding from Texas, I heard all of the same things from my daughter. You are beautiful, and it's OK to have some days where you don't feel brave. What's happening is not fair and its OK to say so. Just know that you have so many people out here lifting you up! Take care of yourself! Hugs, Vicki in Texas

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  50. Laura LaneJuly 14, 2015 at 5:46 PM

    Hi Rachel, When my daughter Celeste was diagnosed with cancer I learned a great deal about hope. I would love to share with you some of those things.

    "Hope is when we have a beautiful vision of something and a positive emotion to go along with it. When our world comes crashing down, when we are trapped in a deep, dark, despairing hopelessness, we need a bigger perspective. Hope comes when we reflect on all that we hold dear
    and true, when we acknowledge a higher power, when we acknowledge God in our lives and begin to see what He has planned for our lives.”

    "I believe that when we reflect on all that we have and all that we love and all that we are thankful for, we feel that hope and that peace. We feel God keeping us buoyed up. We are able to face the challenges.”

    “It is in the quiet moments of reflection that we can gain a greater feeling of hope when we remember and recognize all the positive things that are happening during this time of great difficulty.”

    I hope that helps even in some small way.

    Love and Hugs

    Laura Lane

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  51. AnonymousJuly 14, 2015 at 5:48 PM

    Hi Rachel,
    You are beautiful inside and out. Stay positive and strong with God all things are possible. Better days are coming. xoxox from Michele in Massachusetts.

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  52. UnknownJuly 14, 2015 at 5:49 PM

    Dear Rachel, I found out about your journey through TheTruth365. You are NOT alone. I will walk (limp) beside you. I don't know what it's like to live with terminal cancer, but I do live with an incurable degenerative disease. I will pray that your hope in God remains, and that he let his Spirit be known in your heart. Your friend, Erin in MA

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  53. NoneJuly 14, 2015 at 5:55 PM

    Rachel stay strong. You are not alone. We are with you in spirit. Praying for strength, peace and healing.

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  54. AnonymousJuly 14, 2015 at 6:03 PM

    Hi Rachel,

    Just wanted you to know that I think you are so very brave. I'm sure all you want to do is be out there living and experiencing life minus the struggles if DIPG.
    I'm sorry this is not the case. Please know many are praying for you and you are not alone - although I'm sure it feels that way many times.

    I don't know all of what you have been through besides what you have posted on your blog. Cancer sucks. But I read you have many people who love you and and cheering you on during your struggles. I hope that helps in your darkest moments.

    You are a hero to many! Keep fighting the fight!!
    Prayers from TX

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  55. Kpaulson5July 14, 2015 at 6:07 PM

    Keeping you in my prayers tonight. 💗

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  56. asmithJuly 14, 2015 at 6:13 PM

    Be strong! Faith is something we all question along our journey. Know that you are loved and people are sending positive thoughts (and prayers) your way.

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  57. Sunday CotonJuly 14, 2015 at 6:19 PM

    Stay strong! You are in my thoughts and prayers.

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  58. AnonymousJuly 14, 2015 at 6:25 PM

    You are such a strong and inspiring person! Keep fighting! You can make it through this!

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  59. DeepaJuly 14, 2015 at 6:28 PM

    Rachel you ROCK!!! Keeping you in my prayers from now on.. God Bless.

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  60. AnonymousJuly 14, 2015 at 6:48 PM

    Dear Rachel, You are so strongly strong! I can see many people love you. You are a precious child of God. Many of us do not put our faith in action as we should. You certainly do. Hold on tight with the Lord. He is right with you.

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  61. UnknownJuly 14, 2015 at 7:03 PM

    Keep fighting, Rachel...you are my hero! The Lord is always with you and loves so so much. Thank you for sharing you heart, thoughts and journey on your blog.

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  62. Bob OHaraJuly 14, 2015 at 7:34 PM

    Prayers for you young lady. You are a shining light and inspiration to us all. Stay strong and God Bless

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  63. AnonymousJuly 14, 2015 at 8:02 PM

    Thinking of you Rachel. Love and positive energy to you.

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  64. LeighJuly 14, 2015 at 8:11 PM

    God is real and so is His love, even though we may not understand His ways all the time. Sending love and prayers.

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  65. Steph0108July 14, 2015 at 8:20 PM

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  66. Steph0108July 14, 2015 at 8:23 PM

    Thinking of you ❤️

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  67. AnonymousJuly 14, 2015 at 8:32 PM

    Beautiful Rachel.
    rest when you can , go when you can, you are a shining light, don't listen to the negative thoughts when they come , we all have to fight them off. check out the Dahli Lama's facebook page/website. he is a great inspiration for so many all over the world, just as you do, you are the inspiration to so many.. you just don't know it .he keeps going..he continues to fight impossible odds for his country. see yourself with God looking through your eyes, hearing with your ears, loving through your heart. and sitting within your thoughts. Many prayers are with you sweetheart,

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  68. UnknownJuly 14, 2015 at 8:37 PM

    Sending you TONS of prayers, love and light!!! Xoxo

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  69. mistyJuly 14, 2015 at 9:00 PM

    I am sorry for your struggles in this fight.My daughter had this so I know some of what you are going through.Just keep that hope.I can imagine it must be hard to do but you're a fighter.Prayers coming your way.

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  70. AshleighJuly 14, 2015 at 9:14 PM

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  71. AshleighJuly 14, 2015 at 9:17 PM

    Hey, Rachel,

    I am sorry you are dealing with this monster known as DIPG. I'm a High Risk Pre-B ALL survivor with long-term side effects, have endured the pain of cancer, and the pain of losing people I love. I can never claim to know why God doesn't save all those who suffer; I can only reason that this is not our home--the world is imperfect and thus full of imperfect processes--a temporary place. I do believe God never leaves us, and is there giving us strength when we think we have none--and inspiring us to do the best with with we have. I'm sorry you are going through this trial, but please know you have many thinking of and praying for you. Hope, love, and prayers always. <3 Keep on keeping on.

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  72. EswansJuly 14, 2015 at 9:20 PM

    You are so strong and amazing! My prayers and thoughts are with you right now and always! My uncle had DIPG and I know he is acting as your guardian angel during this fight.

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  73. AnonymousJuly 14, 2015 at 10:14 PM

    You sound very brave! I am in awe of how much courage it takes to share this journey. You are not alone! Praying for healing and God's peace.

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  74. AnonymousJuly 14, 2015 at 10:15 PM

    You sound very brave! I am in awe of how much courage it takes to share this journey. You are not alone! Praying for healing and God's peace.

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  75. UnknownJuly 14, 2015 at 11:47 PM

    I'm sorry you have to go through that. Sending lots of hugs and love. <3

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  76. AnonymousJuly 15, 2015 at 1:18 AM

    You are loved! Keep keeping on.

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  77. RonjaJuly 15, 2015 at 1:26 AM

    Please don't ever give up sweet girl. You're not worthless! You made it through three years in the fight with the most terrible brain tumor possible. This shows, that you are stronger than most people could ever imagine to be. You are an true inspiration and your fight brings hope to so many familys with kids that also have DIPG. Because of people like you, that keep defying all the odds, those familiys know that it's possible to live far longer than the prognosis says.
    You are a miracle and I hope with all of my heart, that you will beat cancer. Keep showing the world that nothing is impossible ❤️
    Sending you hugs from germany,
    Ronja

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  78. RosemaryJuly 15, 2015 at 2:04 AM

    Hi! I wanted to send you hugs from Minnesota. You are good at writing. Even though you don't think you have much going on in a day...write it down and share it with us. You'd be surprised how interesting it is to us! I know it would be to me. In the meantime, take care, and know that you are appreciated!

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  79. JanirisJuly 15, 2015 at 2:36 AM

    I am sorry you are going through this. God is real. I am not sure why things like cancer happen, but continue to trust in God, he will give you the strength you need. God bless.

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  80. UnknownJuly 15, 2015 at 3:35 AM

    Keeping you in my prayers! 💖

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  81. AnonymousJuly 15, 2015 at 6:32 AM

    Rachel, I just wanted to let you know we want you to keep fighting! Miracles happen every day! God will decide when you have to be with him, so until then enjoy life as much as you can!

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  82. janetJuly 15, 2015 at 6:49 AM

    positive thoughts and prayers coming your way from south florida!
    oxox

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  83. Darlene :)July 15, 2015 at 11:41 AM

    Praying for you in North Alabama! Keep on fighting and writing! Now I'm going to head over and check out your Etsy Shop!

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  84. yasmeenJuly 15, 2015 at 4:35 PM

    Hey Rachel ! I just read that you were thinking Genovia was a real country, guess what ?? Me too ! I just recently discovered that it was fictitious haha. But it's alright I mean, it's okay, we can't know everything in the world !
    Just wanted to drop by and let you know that you are amazing and that you should keep doing your best every day ! You never know what might happen, so keep up the amazingness haha and just try to keep hope, I know it's hard, but it's worth it

    My thoughts and prayers go to you and your family ! :)

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  85. AnonymousJuly 15, 2015 at 10:29 PM

    For god everything is possible...you are very brave !! You can do this, cancer worst fear is god!! God has everything under control dont worry ♡♡

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  86. Under 2 Above- MusicJuly 16, 2015 at 6:46 PM

    You are not at fault ,We are as human's,not taking care of our world,we destroyed it so much our children are paying for it.I share for children every day,I see as a person what e have done through the decade's,just plain not caring,trashing,shortcut's,violating enviromental rule's,so much more,(Fight Childhood Cancer,childhood diseases:A Guide to Children for Children) is just one of many site's I have ,I share for all sick kid's,I do it out of love,For Jesus and all the children,so blame us not yourself,PatG

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  87. AnonymousJuly 16, 2015 at 7:24 PM

    Keep your chin up, beautiful Rachel! Praying that you can feel the love of Jesus surrounding you and that you feel the love and prayers of all those who hold you close in their hearts.

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  88. jules bJuly 16, 2015 at 11:03 PM

    You are a truly amazing and brave young lady, beautiful inside and out!!! Stay strong and positive!!! Wishing you all the luck and love ... Take care...angelic hugs xx

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  89. UnknownJuly 21, 2015 at 4:58 AM

    Very nice post, impressive. its quite different from other posts. Thanks for sharing.

    TOSHIBA PVM-375AT

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