Saturday, June 29, 2013

My Bad News

So the results came back from the tests they ran on the biopsy, and it turns out the tumor in my back, is the same thing in my brain. That's a bad sign because it means my cancer has metastasized. They were able to get most of it out, but I will still have to start treatment for it, as I've been off of my chemotherapy for nearly 3 weeks. So in about a week I will be starting radiation again, and a new kind of chemotherapy study drug. Hooray! Every 18 year old's dream.

Besides all the turmoil I've been going through (I think I'm too young to use that word), but besides that, I've been hanging out with my friends and family, and really enjoying my summer, as I usually do. I miss my brother who is in Alaska, and my friends that are serving LDS missions, but besides that I live an amazing life, and have been pretty lucky thus far.

Did I mention I had my staples removed! YAY!




 Sometimes I find myself wearing multiple different patterns.


One of my best friends left on his mission last week, good luck Kevin!



My sisters fiancé, Cody, went on his mission to Spain, and taught me how to make one of my favorite foods ever! Tortilla de Potato. I know I spelled that very incorrectly, but it doesn't exactly phase me to the point that I would actually look up how to spell it.


The sky above my orchard.

Water coloring is my newly found hobby, I've been doing it a lot lately, and then putting on some of my favorite quotes, and hanging them up by my bed, because it makes me happy!



Jordy and me.


So everyone lately has been asking what my plans are for the future. Even though they have changed a little since I found out about the tumor in my back, they are still, generally the same. I'm going to take some classes via BYU independent study, that will allow me some flexibility, as I'm sure I won't always be feeling up to going to class. I'm also going to be taking an Institute class at UVU, and eventually overall, I'll be working toward my long term goal, that I've always had, to be a physical therapist, while living in the vicinity of my humble abode. Besides there's something about the home that's healing. When I'm sick that's where I want to be, as I'm sure most everyone feels. That's another reason Memphis just sucked the life right out of me!

I'll be meeting with my Radiation Oncologist on Monday, who happens to be only 10 minutes away in Provo, and figuring out the plans for the treatment. I'm no longer a St. Jude Patient, and even though it makes me so sad, i'm also grateful, because being at home right now, is really where I feel I should be, and want to be. 

Thank you for your continued prayers, as I could really use them, considering the news we got was fatally discouraging. 

xoxo

Rach
I will do hard things.

36 comments:

  1. Rachel, I am so sorry about your news.
    I will continue to pray for you!
    xo, farrah kaye

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  2. You are one heck of a girl. It is very hard to always be the one to stay strong, and you're still doing it. I really hope you can recover. I found out about you from CGH. I really hope you survive! All my prayers go towards you. My friend recently had a liver transplant, and is still recovering. You would be a great example for her. Thanks soo much!
    Love, Emma

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  3. I'm sending you lots of hugs and thoughts and prayers from Rhode Island! You are so strong. You're much younger than me but I look up to your strength and hope to someday be as strong and positive as you are! Your water colors are beautiful. Keep up the beautiful art; it will help! And keep sharing with us! You'll be in my continued prayers. God bless you, your family and your friends. May He be a constant light and comfort to you. :)

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  4. Lots of prays for you, best wishes!

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  5. My mom survived brain cancer after having lung cancer, and I know you can too! You seem like an amazing girl and all of my prayers are with you, that this will pass quickly and you can live a cancer free life!!

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  6. Sending you my positive vibes.
    Love your watercolors AND the dress you're wearing in the last picture. You are very stylish.

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  7. Rachel, you have a stong belief in yourself. You're such a positive role model. I know it's not easy, being a survivor myself, I get that. Keep your head up and your heart free. God hears all our prayers. Mine are going to you. God bless you sweetie

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  8. More prayers coming your way. Thanks for your positive attitude despite your turmoil. You've had way more than your share! So sorry!

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  9. You're so inspirational and strong, keep your head up high. You're beautiful, don't you ever forget that. I wish you the very best

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  10. Keep being so strong! Thankfully I'm not ill, but I can relate to your situation. We have a disabled child and are not sure what the future will bring for our little girl. She's strong and never ever gives up. I learned a lot from her. She taught me to love life as it is and not to worry too much. I'm thankful we are given the trust tot take of her and are thankful for every day we have together. I wish you the best and never ever give up!

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  11. Love ya! It will all work out in the end. If it hasn't worked out yet... then it's not the end. Live on, fight on, and try to have some fun once in a while!

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  12. Love you Rachel! Praying for miracles to come your way. You are my hero and YOU ARE A FIGHTER!!!! LOVE YOU <3

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  13. Love you Rachel! Praying for miracles to come your way. You are my hero and YOU ARE A FIGHTER!!!! LOVE YOU <3

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  14. Sending you lots of love and prayers. Sweet greetings from Holland!

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  15. From Spain I can tell you that it's Tortilla de patatas, but I like the way you say it! Best wishes from super warm Andalucía <3

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  16. I am so impressed with your beautiful water colors! So beautiful! My prayers are with you for increased strength and healing.

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  17. I think you are so amazing and I love to read about and follow your story, you are such an inspiration to anyone, and you really put things into perspective for me, and for that I am grateful. Thank you for sharing your story.
    - A fellow Rachel.

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  18. Rachel this is Moses, and I'm so sad about the news! I'll be praying for you. Rachel + Diane forever

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  19. Dear Rachel,
    I just wanted to drop you a note to let you know that we love you and are praying for you. Even though you were here at a terrible time in your life, we are grateful that we got to know you.
    Vickie Carter
    Memphis First Ward Young Women

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  20. Continuing to pray for you sweet girl. So sorry to hear the disheartening news. You are such a strong and inspiring girl. Love your water color pictures! Take care and God Bless!

    Kara

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  21. You can do hard things, you will do hard things... Rachel, you ARE doing hard things. You're in my thoughts and prayers, have a wonderful summer!

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  22. My prayers are with you, Rachel. I'm behind you. xx

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  23. I have faith in tou Rachel. Enjoy your summer holiday! xoxo

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  24. Kinda love your artwork! If it makes you happy, do some more and post them. You are handling a tough life with incredible grace and beauty, and it shows in your pictures as well as your words.

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  25. Praying for you in Texas! Your water color pictures are beautiful. Keep doing hard things!

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  26. Love your water colors! And the tortilla! What other secret talents have you been hiding? You are an amazing girl. We'll keep you in our prayers and thoughts.
    D.

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  27. Love you so much Rachel! I pray for you every day. I know God can do all things!! You're an inspiration to the world. Keep strong!!!

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  28. Rachel, Lynn and I are praying for you! We continue to be inspired by your faith and courage. Keep up the paining, you may have discovered ANOTHER one of your precious gifts which you received from your loving Heavenly Father! We believe in miracles! We believe in you! Love and prayers continue your way from here in Korea.

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  29. Rachel, prayers for you coming from Michigan. Praying that God will Bless you with quiet moments when you’re feeling overwhelmed, true wisdom when you’re facing difficult choices restful hours when your days are long. Thinking of you and praying that these blessing will be yours.

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  30. Love your water colors! You are a strong girl. Praying for you in Mexico!

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  31. Dear Rachel I will pray for you. And hope he gives you strength in the hard times. Lovely greetings from Germany. :)

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  32. You're such an inspiration,I wish everyone could have your strenght. You keep fighting, I'll keep praying
    And I love the Tortilla de Papas!
    Best wishes from Chile!

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  33. Dear Rachel,
    You have been in my thoughts and prayers for so long that I feel connected to you. Your spirit defies all things earthily. I love you. I love your hugs and your tears and your smile and your honesty. I feel like every time we find a new talent that God has opened up something about ourselves that it was time for us to know. Your paintings tell that story.
    I love you,
    Shannon Swain

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  34. Sending prayers from Texas. There is always time for hope. This crazy thing that spontaneously started in your body can also spontaneously stop.

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  35. Rachael, Your paintings are truly amazing. Love and light. Your cousin, Kari

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  36. Rachel thank you for your example. You are doing more good for more people than you know. You continue to be in our prayers!!

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