Sunday, May 24, 2015


I feel like I am on a constant and never ending loop. I feel like nothing will ever be “over” even if we sometimes want it to be. My life is like a crappy TV show (because there’s a sudden obsession with the life of a cancer patient). Really high high’s and really low low’s- and during the whole thing it’s all uncomfortable and dramatic.

Sometimes I get upset with where I am because it is so visibly underwhelming- I guess I sometimes let that get to me. In the beginning I was like “I don’t need any kind of recognition to feel accomplished” when the real truth is, even if it’s an affirming sentiment relayed by Diane, I am better off when I am told I am doing good, or I am making my family proud, etc. I am not currently trying to seek something out, I am just typing something I’ve found out about myself.

I keep getting these mini migraines- so I am not really up to the task of writing but I wanted to at least record that I’m still alive! (Hooray.) But I started going to BYU! Me- a college student! (Before you clap- I’m enrolled in one class) and I’m still working. For the last few weeks- my family has heard very few things come out of my mouth besides my “need for a massage chair”. Retail therapy exists.

It’s been such a long “in between” stage. I’m pretty ready for something new- I think!


{taken by: itty bitty beautiful maria corona}


  1. You are an incredible woman! I am strengthened by your faith, your humility, and your ability to keep it real. Thank you! By the way, one class is amazing! You go girl!

  2. God bless you Racheal. I can't say I know how you feel because I've never gone threw a hard situation like yours. And its sad to think that we all take advantage of life. Just because we are in good health we feel unstoppable. Like nothing could ever go wrong. But everyday day we should thank the Lord for everyday that we are able to wake up. It might not seem like much to thank for, but it is. May God give you strength and bless you and your whole family in the name of Jesus Christ

  3. You are a hero, a light for others to follow your example

  4. Good. And it teaches us something new about. thank you very much.

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  5. Hi Rachel, I just found ur blog and was reading all ur posts. Of the lot, I found this the most touching. You are definitely a role model for me and others!