I was asked by a friend to go on a date this weekend with his cousin. He was told to treat me like a "normal" girl. He called me two or three times before the actual date and seemed really nice. He was asking me if I had a problem being out late, and kept reassuring me how late it would be. I told him no, suspicious that he's one of "those" people who finds me incapable. Over the phone he told me we were going to Chili's (Does Chili building ring a bell)? He came to pick me up, a little late, but close to on time. He was a gentleman and opened my door. (For the most part I would rather open my own door because I'm extremely capable of doing it by myself, but it's very "kind" and "classy" of him to do for me).
So off we went in his car where two others were in the back whose names I can't remember, but were very.. together. We finally (6 minutes later), arrived to Chili's. I have plenty of conversation up my sleeve, and I have some pretty interesting stories to tell-not cancer related. Like that time a year before I was diagnosed with cancer that I was spotlight searched for in a park by the police and almost hit by an angry driver that decided the grass was a fine place to drive. I'm just saying, I have some good stories, and I love hearing good stories.
We sat down for dinner, after I greeted the staff, who all know me as "BIG Rache the VIP girl who comes in a lot and was treated at St. Jude Children's Research Hospital" the charity they support. After mulling over the menu for a little while, and having my date repeatedly ask me if I would to do the 2 for 20$ deal with him we decided on what to eat.
As often as he asked me to do the 2 for 20$ deal, he asked if I wanted an appetizer. After I repetitively told him no, (because I'm on a strict diet) I told him to get an appetizer, because I figured that's what he was after. So he ordered fried cheese, (mozzarella sticks) and they arrived shortly after. His friend sitting across from me kept letting his mozzarella stick dangle from his mouth and dangle low with a thick string of cheese in between, and sporadically he tried having a lady and the tramp moment with his girlfriend and the fried cheese (barf). Every once in a while I felt like I was in a real life caramel filled chocolate commercial with the way the cheese hung down from his mouth.
I was asking questions about him and his life, but between his secret language with his friends and inside jokes, I was feeling really lost. He was courteous though, and explained every inside joke to me, I assumed most of it was "had to be there for the moment" kind of material. Before the food came, I told my date who was sitting on the same side of the table as me, that I eat with my left hand and I would appreciate if he would trade me places at the table so I didn't elbow him all night. (I was feeling really trapped and just wanted to sit on the end, though I do eat with my left hand which makes for the perfect excuse). After I inquired about our seating arrangement, he replied with "Well, I'm left handed too." And the conversation was over.
Dinner was over, and because I know the staff at Chili's, they sometimes give me free food, so the appetizers came free!
We left the restaurant and went down to his apartment complex where his friend was throwing a black and white party. So I went with his friends girlfriend to her apartment to get changed into our formal black/white dresses. The boys came back to join us and my date was dressed in a black suit with white suspenders, a white bow tie and black sunglasses. I had to admit, he looked pretty awesome. So I said "you look awesome!" in the way you kind of fish for a compliment.
I don't usually fish for compliments, but he kept talking about how good he looked so I thought I may as well lean into it. We went upstairs to the party where they were serving lots of drinks and sherbet. We went and sat on the couch, him with his shirley temple, and me with my awkward-blind date grin. He kept offering me desserts and drinks, but I kept telling him no, because I don't eat any sugar. I apologized one of the times I said no because I said it really rash, and harsh. I didn't understand what about "I don't eat sugar" is hard to understand, and I was getting annoyed. But I am glad I took NOVA where they taught me to be strong, and just say no.
There was also red lights everywhere, so I asked my date what kind of a party he was taking me to, and he had no idea to what I was referring. After about ten minutes of sitting down, he got up and socialized. It was his ward boundaries so there were plenty of people for him to socialize with. It felt like a family reunion I was intruding, except nobody was fighting. It was opposite actually. There was a lot of happiness in the room, and I thought that some of the girls were reuniting with loved ones from the military. Heaven forbid they only see each other once a week at church.
Anyways, my date would come back and sit with me as if he was taking a shift at an old folks home. He would ask me all about my cancer which was cool that he cared and was so interested with it, but not necessarily good 1st date conversation. And certainly not conversation in which I was interested in having on a blind date. He sat with me every once in a while, and would leave me for about 15 minute intervals. I have no problem being alone. But I do have a problem with watching my date sit on other girls laps, flirt like crazy, and ask other girls out on dates right in front of me. No judgement, the kids on a hunt. I just wish I had the guts to tell him that hunting on dates wasn't one of his strong points.
So I went back downstairs to the apartment we got ready in. I felt like I was in a movie sneaking out of the date/party. I figured if he was sitting on girls laps, he wouldn't mind me texting (I neverb EVER text on dates). So I did! I texted Jordyn my heroic twin and McLean my good friend, and told them what was happening. When he came to find me in the apartment I felt even more like I was in a movie. I was scared. But I went out to the living room where he routinely was flirting with one of the roomies.
We went back to the party a little while later after he asked the girls roommate to come over to his apartment and watch Brooklyn -9-9 with him sometime. Once we got back to the party, I returned to the couch like an ashamed runaway dog that had heroically been retrieved. A few minutes later he surprised all of us with a dance performance he had put together. I use the term "all of us" in a singular way, seeing as this party was not one of the kind that you bring a date to, like I had been.
Between Jordyn and McLean telling me to leave and offering to pick me up, I finally took Jordyns' offer and left. I had her come pick me up because from what he said over the phone, it would be a long night full of at least four more hours of the same activity.
When Jordyn came to pick me up, I talked all muffled when I approached him sitting on the other side of the room. I said, /////family emergency////sick//////I need to go//////my ride's here///personal stuff//thank you for dinner//////. He walked me to the car which was very kind and said goodbye.
I've never been more relieved to be off a date in my life. (Well, besides once).
Before our date, he was told to treat me normally, and I came to the conclusion that if this is how normal is treated, maybe the cancer life isn't all too bad.
So another perk I have found with cancer, people you treat you different! Better!
Rachel. This is graphic proof of the fact that I love you best. I miss you. FaceTime me every day. Thanks for being my best friend and letting me feed your fish.ReplyDelete
I cannot believe this rudeness. even after hearing the story a few times... it is still unbelievable. GER i woulda beat that kid into a pulp.. with a smile of course!ReplyDelete
Oh there will definitely be consequences! I can assure you that.Delete
That's an awesome story, sorry you had to live it. Love you Rach!ReplyDelete
Blind dates either go really, really well or not well at all. I am sorry that yours was the later.ReplyDelete
Rachel, sounds like incredibly immature, self centered guy. He has a lot of growing to do. Rachel, this is more conformation that you are not the typical girl who needs a guy to validate her. You are of the highest caliber person so it is natural for you to expect others to be as exceptional as you. A very tall order. I'm so thankful you are that extraordinary young lady. A true class act! A royal daughter of God. Oh how I love & admire you. Thank you for being an outstanding example to all. I'm hoping that today is a good day for you. Very sincerely & with infinite love, KathieReplyDelete
Oh Rachel, I laughed when I read about your blind date. You know the saying you have to kiss a lot of toads to find a prince? Your mom and I have some pretty good stories we could tell you but I have to find out from her if I can. Hang in there girl you're amazing. Love yaReplyDelete
I met my husband on a blind date. They can be good. He certainly wasn't the first blind date I had though. Ugh. I had some real stinkers too. :-)ReplyDelete
Maybe being told to "treat you normally" caused him to treat you in a way he might otherwise have not? LOL that sounded a lot better in my had before I tried to articulate it. What I meant was, perhaps he would have treated you normally (since you are normal! :D) but, since he was instructed to treat you a certain way, this put him on edge and made him uncomfortable. The result being, he treated you horribly. Blind dates are awkward at best. Hopefully the next one is better.ReplyDelete
Wow, all sorts of awkward there... but what a relief to be able to get out! I cannot imagine another FOUR hours of the same! Ugh...ReplyDelete
Rachel, I just spent the last 1.5 hours reading your story from the beginning. I was recently diagnosed with cervical cancer, and you have really been a blessing through your blog and sharing your true experience with others....especially at 17. That is hard for me at 35! Will be praying for you!ReplyDelete
so I have never been to a dance party that was suitable for a date, especially first date. youre either there to meet people, or if you're really into dancing, to dance all night with someone you know well. bad ideas all around. we men are usually pretty good at having bad ideas, but this guy sounds like a leading scholar in the field. don't you feel lucky?ReplyDelete
Wow... what a putz! It would have been awesome if you'd gotten sick all over him. :) I know... I know... a bit grotesque. I'm glad you left. He didn't deserve to spend time with you.ReplyDelete
Maybe try wearing some Whisper next time you go on a date. It'll give you a chemically unique aroma.ReplyDelete
After you sleep with the girl once, begin feeling her out for a threesome. threesome apps You can find them on most adult dating sites by searching for single men or women who are looking for couples.ReplyDelete
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